My morbid little soul wreckers,
Some of you may have heard the anxious banter regarding the human Alan Wiesman’s recent book “The World Without Us”. Stop cringing like humans! There will not be a world without Us, perhaps just Them (humans, that is).
A few comments:
- The good Professor does layout a provocative case for the damage caused by humans to the planet. Do not worry about the potential of this book to lessen human selfishness and narcissistic consumption. Ain’t going to happen.
- “The World Without Us” does promote anxiety and morbid curiosity about self-extinction and its aftermath. Remember, in turmoil, humans start stampeding towards whatever seems popular at the time, so be ready to corrupt. At times like these, we feast!
- Weisman does give voice to one of our little projects, the Human Extinction Movement. I can hear some of you sniveling, “Who will we corrupt if there are no humans?” Stop sniveling! The Enemy will not allow His “creation” to vanish (But if He did, there would be one helluva backlog in Hell; which would be nice, don’t you think?).
- The question is : If some Human Extinction Movement zealots are successful at pushing their ideas, whom will they seek to eliminate? The answer is : Those who are religious! This is because the religious tend to be hopeful about their future, breed more and have more children; children who are much more likely to be inspired by the Enemy. The less of the Enemy-followers there are, the better for us!
- I would note with disgust that Weisman is inspiring thoughtful discussions about environmental degradation by those who are in the Enemy’s camp (note salguod.net). This is troubling, for salguod.net and others seek to return humans to looking towards the Enemy and relying on faith. This, of course, is trouble.
Do not fret too much about this. Just feed off the anxiety and keep the humans distracted.
Naturally yours,
Bweaselgub
My sour little owl scats,
I encourage you (read that, require you) to read the article that underscores that there is a widening woman/man happiness gap.
Consider my thoughts on this topic (or not, if you feel like gambling):
- As I noted in my last post, “The Pursuit of Happiness” is a deceptive strategy that we employ to distract humans. If humans are busy focusing on their own narcissistic happiness, they are not focusing on the real purpose of life; to draw closer to the Enemy and to serve their own vermin-kind.
- Our strategy to corrupt females through the ideology of feminism is working exactly like we planned. We influence females to think they can have it all; romantic relationships, career, children, hobbies, volunteerism, etc. If by long shot they achieve these “carrots”, we dangle more/different carrots just out of reach. The bunnies are thus never satisfied and feel unhappy. They haven’t yet realized, “You can have it all, just not at the same time”.
- The article points out that men are happier then women. This is rubbish, for men are just as narcissistic and unhappy as women, just in different ways. But promoting the woman/man happiness gap fits our purposes, for it will build resentment by women of men. And it is in our best interest to formulate conflict between the sexes. When there is conflict, no one is happy. Except us, of course.
Continue to sow the seeds of division and discontent.
Contentedly,
Bweaselgub
Published on September 28, 2007
in Happiness.
Dear spreaders of pessimism,
I wanted to reiterate one of our recent breakthrough strategies in the corruption of humans; The Pursuit of Happiness.
Given that you are ignorant little savages, it might be confusing to you that the Devil might be pushing “happiness”. Let me explain in terms even you might understand:
- Happiness is a hot topic right now in the minds of many academics (of course, they don’t realize that we put it in their minds for our own purposes!). For example, see the recent book called “Happier” by a Harvard professor. Closer examination of the book reveals that happiness is a state of mind and a set of actions that lead to happiness. It quotes the exiled Tibetan, who thinks that happiness is the purpose of life. Too bad for him. Ha!
- Of course, happiness is not the purpose of life, we only want humans to think that it is. From the Enemy’s perspective, the Carpenter’s life certainly wasn’t about “happiness”. It was about sacrifice for the love of the Enemy and fellow humans. This is the model which we wish to avoid.
- Happiness is a narcissistic concept that is all about finding pleasant mental and physical feelings. The most vulnerable of humans are the ones who are empty of the Enemy and are trying to fill the gnawing void. These humans are excellent targets for us, for they will grasp for happiness instead of the Enemy.
- This is not to imply that using “The Pursuit of Happiness” strategy is without risk. If not handled delicately, humans may actually look behind their “happiness” to discover it that happiness is a by-product of seeking the Enemy and serving other humans; both of these are highly offensive to us. Be careful, or be scaled.
If you are unsure how to twist a human to be distracted into making happiness the be-all, end-all, do not use this sophisticated strategy. Rather, use the old reliables like hatred, lust, greed, gluttony, etc. You know the drill.
In Extreme Narcissitude,
Bweaselgub
My sniveling turncoats and assorted demons,
It has come to my attention that some of you have been watching and re-watching Professor Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture. I understand that there have been some futile attempts at tears, which of course is pointless, for devils cannot produce tears. It is my intent to find the cry-babies and give them a real reason to cry. Perhaps, a molten-red hot poker in an unprotected orifice.
Although his extreme suffering is not apparent in the linked video, Professor Pausch’s painful fight will soon end with his death due to pancreatic cancer. The twaddle-brained among you are chortling and rubbing their claws together at this “tragedy”. You are fools. We do not have a hope in Hell (and as you know, there is no hope in Hell) of getting Professor Pausch’s soul. The Enemy has claimed him.
Professor Pausch’s lecture is disgusting to me on many dimensions:
- Despite his impending death, Professor Pausch demonstrates a sense of true happiness. These joyous feelings are the result of the Enemy’s embrace, whether the Professor knows it or not (I suspect he does know). Of course, feelings of joy and happiness are only burned-out memories to all of us demons in Hell.
- When he should be selfishly lamenting, Professor Pausch is out giving inspirational talks that are broadly inspiring people. This is charity at a most revolting level.
- Some of you may like the part about Professor Pausch claiming to not be talking about religion and spirituality. You are ignorant glowing smudgepots. For his whole lecture is about the Enemy. It is about love, giving, perseverance, creation and various other Enemy-like qualities. His commitment to his wife, family and students is blatant. I feel a reflexive gag coming on…..
- Worst of all, Professor Paush has demonstrated how to face death with courage, resolve and dignity. His message is that humans should “lead life the right way”. This will make people think about their mortality and morality. This undoubtedly will turn many, many humans to the Enemy. Simply awful.
I can find nothing to like in Professor Pausch’s lecture. Influence your designated human to not watch it. If they do watch it, get them to focus on the graphics or humor, not the real content. Like usual, most humans will quickly forget about this and we can get back to corrupting them.
Yours in Evil
Bweaselgub
My scheming little schism-makers,
We should always take a milli-second to chuckle cruely when our purposes are advanced. For the pliable putty in the Episcopal Bishop ranks have continued to keep the promotion of homosexual clergy alive.
For some of the newer devils, let me explain how homosexual clergy helps our cause:
- We have been seeking the destruction of the Carpenter’s Church for 2000 years now. This is one of our foremost strategies to corrupt humans. Knock down the Church, and the people will fall for anything.
- We’ve made lots of gains in dividing and conquering the Carpenterites. Big wins include the Catholic/Orthodox schism, Catholic/Protestant Schism and complete fragmentation of Protestant denominations. What is so important to remember is that if we cut the meat up into smaller and smaller pieces, it is so much easier to chew….and digest. When we fragment the Church, the opportunities for corruption explode!
- We want homosexual behavior to be mainstream, for it is rebellion against the Enemy. The Enemy has set limits to behavior; that much is clear from the Book. Homosexual behavior is rebellion in the first degree.
- Promoting homosexual behavior is very difficult, for the vast majority of humans realize that homosexuality is deviant. Where we work is on the margin. But the numbers do add up; we can corrupt about 1% easily and perhaps get another 1-2 percent to act out their homosexual ideas if we condition them the right way.
- Making homosexuality an accepted thing is a big part of the conditioning. This is why advancing openly practicing homosexuals to positions of power in the Church is so important. Homosexual clergy will help us convert the vunerable at earlier and earlier ages.
- Of course, the other major benefit is that making homosexual unions mainstream will lessen the attraction of heterosexual marriage. And the breakdown in marriage makes it much easier for us to corrupt; divide and conquer, remember?
Unfortuately for them (but fortunately for us), all who corrupt the young are doomed. The Carpenter made a real big deal about this as you may recall. We may not get all (or even a majority) of those whose human weakness lead them to homosexuality, which, of course, is a dissappointing aspect of the Enemy’s strange ability to forgive. But we do get 100% of those who actively promote homosexuality as a “lifestyle”. I expect we will have to add a whole new wing for the many of the current Espiscopal leadership.
Giggle, but not too much.
Bweaselgub
My smoldering snipes,
It is quite a day for celebrating in this little corner of Hell. Screwtape has done it again.
Yesterday, our President Mamoud Ahmadinejab easily achieved our objectives at Columbia University. Do not be discouraged by the numerous triumphant bleatings of the Western Press that Ahmadinejab was a fool. Instead, look more closely at what Hugh Hewitt has to say regarding the Masterful Mamoud. By the way, we need to keep an eye on Mr. Hewitt; he is quite troublesome to our purposes.
For those of you whose minds have had too many circuits scalded or scraped out, we were tying to achieve the following P.R./propaganda wins: 1) Get an appearance at a major “prestigious” university, 2) Get attacked by “unreasonable” academics, and 3) Look reasonable and comfortable while lying.
With Screwtape’s coaching of Mahmoud, we achieved all of our objectives and more. Since I do have the responsibility for training, monitoring and de-limbing you Field Devils from time-to-time, I thought I’d put a finer edge on the machete (no, don’t scurry for cover, I am using a metaphor. For now.) :
- Secular, liberal Western education (and the broader West, by association) was made to look weak, naive and pompous. The good Dean Bollinger attempted to “Speak Truth to Power”, which of course, is a joke when delivered by an academic. Mr. Bollinger threw down the “glove of challenge” multiple times. Each time, Mahmoud picked up the glove and slapped Bollinger’s face silly. Not once, did Bollinger demonstrate the courage (let alone Debate 101 skills) to challenge Mahmoud’s distortions. Bollinger looked like what he is; a poofy-haired professor with a Don-Quijote Complex. As we speak, terrorists are feeling much more confident about the coming conflict.
- For evil Muslims (our kind of Muslims), the Dean’s insults were many. What the Dean doesn’t know, is that when you demean the leader, you demean the tribe. And the tribe will then be honor-bound to viciously fight back. A lot of people will die as a direct result of the Dean’s little adventure.
- Mahmoud came across like a reasonable guy, with a sense of humor and no evil intentions. He clearly will win numerous converts and sympathy in the world.
The Dean may now retreat to his Ivory Tower ghetto and vainly bath in the ignorant ”bravos” from within academia. Ahmadinejab will go home and continue to prepare for the conflict to come.
Screwtape, I salute you. For the rest of you winged soul sparks, get out there and corrupt! Or face the machete (no metaphor intended).
Yours in the Ebony Tower,
Bweaselgub
My devious little deceivers,
Please see the annoying Mr. Brook’s article regarding the happiness caused by The Enemy.
For the most magma-clogged of you, this article points out a very inconvenient fact. Belief in the Enemy results in increased happiness for humans. Not only are the religious happier, but they are more compassionate and giving as the persistent Mr. Brooks points out in his recent nauseating book “Who Really Cares“. This guy is real trouble for us.
As I mentioned in a previous communique regarding the tough old broad, the periodic “dryness” of Mother Theresa’s spiritual life was due to her ability to see and really feel the suffering of others. Of course, we delight in suffering and have gotten used to the eternal dryness of Hell (It sure is hot here, though, isn’t it?) Mother Theresa’s periodic dryness was not the result of spiritual poverty; it was the result of spiritual ascent. On an optimist note note : We can influence everybody at least part of the time, even the truly saintly (and I say that with bile rising in my gullet).
The indicated actions here are several:
- Oppose the Enemy’s public presence - Cozy up to our usual proxies (e.g. the ACLU) and manipulate them to use America’s legal system to strangle her. The less the Enemy is seen, the better for us.
- Continue to encourage secular forces to publish and promote atheist manifestos- For those of you who are behind in your reading, see our prodigious, though deluded, purveyors of a Enemy-less universe including Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens (Boy, are they in for a surprise!).
- As always, keep people out of places of worship. Softly whisper in their ears about their hang-overs, the NFL or the New York Times. Of course, the techniques to keep people out of houses of worship are many. I plan to do a Top Ten List on this topic at a later date.
On a related programming note: today’s sermon at the worship service to the Big Boss (which is, as always, mandatory) is titled : “Atheism for Dummies”.
Unfaithfully yours,
Bweaselgub
My dear little corrupters,
From time-to-time I recognize an outstanding contribution to the corruption of humans with ”The Bweasely Award”. The “Bweasely” is much coveted in the lost land of eternal covetness. Such is Hell.
Screwtape, that corrupter par excellence and Master Devil, is again a recipient of a “Bweasely”. Somehow, Screwtape has convinced Columbia University President Lee Bollinger to allow one of our brightest young stars, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to address a Columbia crowd. President Ahmadinejad’s reputation is wonderfully repugnant and includes numerous examples of killing, imprisoning, Holocaust denying, terrorizing and generally impolite behavior.
When asked just how he influenced President Bollinger to welcome our man Mahmoud, Screwtape noted the following:
- While it is counter-intuitive, intellectuals are often the easiest to corrupt. This is because intellectuals become infatuated with their own reasoning abilities (which, of course, are relatively trivial in the cosmic scheme) and find it easy to believe in themselves, rather then the Enemy.
- It is typical that intellectuals advance academically while regressing spiritually. This is largely due to the non-rational leap that faith in the Enemy requires; a leap the highly educated are too afraid to make. We also have a very, very large installed base of corrupted intellectuals in America’s academies who only promote their own kind.
- With the loss of the compass of faith, the intellectual’s mind wanders down the path to moral relativism and confusion. This confusion takes humorously ironic forms. Invite the leader of a state that practices terrorism to campus. Do not invite those who are fighting against terrorism (American military recruiters). Perfect!
- In a departure from his advice to his nephew, Wormwood, Screwtape suggests talented devils should concentrate on corrupting influential, morally-confused people. This can yield gains on a massive scale, as we expect from our P.R. coup at Columbia.
- Laughing off President Bollinger’s plan to ask “tough questions” to our evil pawn, Screwtape notes that President Ahmadinejad is a master propagandist. The “tough questions” will be ignored or responded to with lies. Further, Screwtape says that Iran wins no matter what the outcome. If the discussion is politely innocuous, Iran gains prestige and terrorists around the world are emboldened to challenge the weak-kneed Americans. If there is a maelstrom of opposition, Iran will build support against the anti-Islamic Americans. Unwittingly (and this is par for the course), President Bollinger has walked into the trap.
Screwtape is certainly a depressing inspiration to us all. Follow his example and my advice, or you may find yourself roasting on a flaming bed of former university professors.
Manipulatively yours,
Bweaselgub
My immature little delinquents,
The CBS television show called “Kid Nation” has aired and is creating quite a bit of a stir of the turd bucket. This is surprising given the relatively lackadaisical views of the cultural cesspool that we have helped create. For example, see the attached article from the New York Post on “Kid Nation”.
Of course, we find it very comforting to think that 40 “parental” units would allow 40 of their spawn to play house in the desert while the cameras rolled. Parental poor judgement is what we count on, and is why we have made such extraordinary gains in the last several decades. Abandon the kids while a parent searches for satisfaction in work, social or fleeting relationships leaves the kids largely unguarded. And when the parents are away, the devils will play!
Kid Nation is just a simple acknowledgment of the real life abandonment of many of these small humans. But I can’t help but think that perhaps Slapstick has over-reached on Kid Nation (Slapstick, you may recall, is our Media Relations Devil at CBS). It occurs to me that the backlash against this show may work against our purposes. What if this show spurs humans to begin to rethink their self-serving lack of parental authority and begin to raise kids the old fashioned way (you know, love, discipline, dwell time, and all that kind of crap)? What if parents start boycotting our media partners like CBS? I should think that this would be quite bad for our corruption efforts for media reach is so very important to us.
Slapstick, I suggest you monitor this situation closely. Your recent request for transfer to our Pornography Promotion Department is on hold until this Kid Nation controversy sorts out. In the event that Kid Nation has an overall positive effect on humans, you will have to pay for your mismanagement. I suspect you will have the choice of being transferred to oversee “The View” or “Teletubbies”, either of which are about as close to Hell as one gets on Earth.
Your Producer,
Bweaselgub
Dear billows of grey dust,
The Right (and I don’t mean right) Reverend (guess I really don’t mean Reverend) Jackson (Probably isn’t his real name) has once again tipped his hand as a racist.
Of course, I am referring to “Reverend” Jesse Jackson and his recent comments that he thought besmirched Senator Obama for “acting like he is white”.
This is humorous to all of us here in Hell for a couple of reasons:
- “Reverend” Jackson’s premise seems to be that one should “act their color”. Senator Obama is technically half-white, so to be consistent with “Reverend” Jackson’s premise, Senator Obama should “act white” at least 50% of the time.
- “Reverend” Jackson’s clearly racist comments against Senator Obama are humorously ironic. The “Reverend” uses a racist comment while protesting against racism.
- Best of all, the black “Reverend” Jackson evidently doesn’t think that Senator Obama is black enough.
- We suspect that the “Reverend” has a bit of the sour grapes thing going regarding his failed bid for the Democratic nomination for the Presidency as he sees Obama soaring.
Now listen up, you little homogeneous slags of rubble. The big picture view is that our diversity program continues to corrupt the hearts of humans. Recall that when we began the “diversity” push, humans were actually beginning to heal racial divides and just get along. But “Diversity” stopped the progress and we are back to segregation. Fabulous!
How you might ask? Diversity is a brainwashing technique that is propelled by the anti-dissent strategy of ”political correctness”. In the case of diversity, groups of people claim to be different (diverse), based on the hue/shade of their skin, their ethnicity, gender, or “lifestyle” (read that sodomy). This mantra of diversity has so permeated human culture, that one is afraid to challenge the idea at any time for fear of being labeled a racist. Never mind that there are no credible studies that actually show that “Diversity” makes humans more productive or happy; and certainly not less mentally or physically segregated. On the contrary, Diversity has increased one’s feeling separateness based mostly on skin color.
I have it on good authority, that the very troublesome Reverend Martin Luther King (now an Angel) is preparing “Operation Salvage” to see if he can reverse the racist policies of his legacy stealers (”Reverends” Jackson and Sharpton) . We hear that Reverend Angel King wants to get and get back to his core message: “It is the content of the character, not the color of the skin”. We of course have a very solid head start at corrupting the two “Reverends” and will mount a vigorous campaign to keep them in our camp. Remember, if we get can divide (incidently, the same root word as “Diversity”), we will never loose. Keep up the whisper campaign on “Diversity”, and watch the weeds grow.
Dividing and Conquering
Bweaselgub